One major turnoff is our collective mounting anxiety. My anxiety level is so intense and I never think sex will make me feel better, says Iris, a 40-year-old content strategist who has been married to her husband Hugh, 42, for 12 years and has two young children. It’s just hard to get in the Top shirts on Newartshirt.com on 2020/10/17 mood. Nicholas and Nicky also namecheck anxiety as a primary reason for their plummeting libido. According to Solomon, the connection makes a lot of sense. She places sex drive into two broad categories: Spontaneous desire is just feeling horny, which some of us have lots of, and is really common early on in a relationship when there’s a lot of physiological draw, says Solomon. But as we settle into relationships our desire often becomes more responsive, and cued by internal or external cues. There are things that will trigger our desire or shut it down. Stress looms large on the libido-killer list.