St. Louis Cardinals Legends Players Team Signature Shirt

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David Coleman wouldn’t wear that on A Question of Sport. John Noakes would have had it arrested for fashion crimes. Val Doonican would take one look at that and I hurl St. Louis Cardinals Legends Players Team Signature Shirt out onto the pavement, slam the door shut, race across the shop floor, pick Barry up by the lapels of his brown suede jacket, and tell him that if I have to listen to one more word of his useless, pathetic, meaningless babble again in my entire life I will kill him. When I let him go I’m shaking with anger. Dick comes out from the stockroom and hops up and down. ‘Hey, guys,’ he whispers. ‘Hey.’ ‘What are you, some kind of fucking idiot?’ Barry asks me. ‘If this jacket’s torn, pal, you’re gonna pay big.’ That’s what he says, ‘pay big.’ Jesus. And then he stomps out of the shop. I go and sit down on the stepladder in the stockroom, and Dick hovers in the doorway. ‘Are you all right?’ ‘Yeah. I’m sorry.’ I take the easy way out. ‘Look, Dick, I haven’t got a lovely woman at home. She’s gone. And if we ever see Barry again, perhaps you could tell him that.’ ‘Of course I will, Rob. No problem. No problem at all. I’ll tell him next time I see him,’ Dick says. I don’t say anything. I just nod. I’ve got some other stuff to tell him, anyway, so it’s no problem. I’ll just tell him about, you know, Laura, when I tell him the other stuff,’ Dick says. ‘Fine.

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